Final (but not really) lesson: Confidence.

I've always thought I was fairly confident person. If I know what I'm doing anyway. In Africa, everything was new. I never knew what I was doing at all. Confidence is one thing I had to learn fast. Or at least learn how to fake it until I knew it.

You have to walk around like you know where you are and what you're doing. Act like you own the place. You can't let anyone around you see the least bit of fear at all or you risk making yourself a target of some kind.

Confidence is something that takes practice. The longer you practice, or just pretend you have it, it will eventually come naturally. You won't even have to think twice when you're in a new situation; you'll just be able to think, "Yeah, I'm okay."

Besides having confidence in yourself, you need to have even more in God. No matter what you're doing or who you're with or where you are, he's going to be with you. Like I said on Monday, you just have to trust him.

Now I'm off to America! Prayers for safety are appreciated!!

Being here in Africa, I have seen just how much need there really is in this world. Like I said yesterday, it’s not unusual to see people walking up the street in slippers, not because they were too lazy to put shoes on, but because they probably don’t have them. It’s not atypical to see people walking around in short-sleeves, not because they’re just naturally warm, but because they probably can’t afford anything warmer.

Almost every day on the way to work we would stop at the red light (or robot) at this one intersection. There was a couple that was usually there. One blind man and a woman, who I would presume is his wife. Anyway, they weren’t just greeting people on their way to work; they were begging. Every day they walked up and down the median. The lady carried a cup in hopes to get some money. Beth, one of the other interns brought soup one day, and we gave them that a couple times, but did we really do anything? Even this small gift…a meal that day, made them so happy and grateful.

They definitely understood what it means to be thankful, and we were learning what it meant to be giving.

Do we as Americans really know what it means to give? We have closets full of clothes we never even took the tags off of; we have week-old leftovers in the fridge that will eventually be thrown out. We have way more than we will ever use. I think we’re just greedy. We like to have things, even if they’re never touched.

I don’t know about anyone else, but after seeing the need here, I definitely feel guilty for the stuff I don’t use but still don’t want to give up…even to someone who actually DOES need it.

Lesson number three: Thanks. 

I don't know how much of a lesson that is, but it's something I've realized even more since being here. All you have to do is own one pair of shoes and you already have more than some people. Own a cell phone? The number gets even higher. What about a computer? A car? 

Come to Africa and see the number of people who walk up and down the street with out shoes or a coat. You'll realize that, chances are if you're reading this blog, you've got a lot more than them. Yet what do we do with our possessions? Most of us take them for granted. We don't realize that we have half as much as we do until we see a man leaning against a phone pole with nothing. He might be wearing slippers if he's lucky.

Since I've been here, I've realized just how much I take for granted: shoes, clothes, my phone, enough food, everything I own or have access to. God didn't have to make me an American citizen. He doesn't have to let me get a new coat every winter. He doesn't even have to give me food everyday. But he does. And how do I repay him? Usually I don't. I often don't even utter a small thank you.

If nothing else, thankfulness is something I hope I never forget. I have so much more than most of the world; the least I can do is say thank you to God for providing me with much more than I could ever need.

Yesterday I talked about trust, which sort of goes along with what I want to talk about today: Patience. What is patience? Is it simply being tolerable in a situation or waiting quietly? No. I think that to me, as a Christian, patience is more than that. God really needed to drill this one into my head this summer. I needed to realize that I was here for a reason, yes, but I may not know that reason right now. I might not know until several weeks later, five or ten years down the road; I may never know. That’s frustrating for me to grasp.

 For those of you who know me, I like to know everything. I like to have a plan for my life; how well I actually stick to it sometimes, is debatable, but at least I have a plan. You can go through my planner and every day is filled up with little notes and I have little to-do lists all over my office and at home. It’s crazy how much I like to know every little thing that is going to happen in my day. I can’t even be patient when it comes to school; I like to know what grade I got on a paper almost as soon as I turn it in and if I don’t get it back for weeks it kills me! I just like to see my results immediately.

 That and there is where my problem lies. I like quick results for my hard work. Being here in Africa has been my hard work, so what are my results? Yeah, I learned things, but is that the real reason I’m here? You could have left me in America and I’m sure I would have learned things there. I know there’s more to my stay here, but I don’t know it yet. It’s hard hearing from God “you don’t need to know yet.” That was part of my problem in the beginning too…I couldn’t see the effects of my being here so I didn’t think it mattered. I couldn’t, and still can’t, really see how my work was helping bring people to Christ. I couldn’t see any monumental incident happening in my life. I just didn’t know what was so special about me being HERE as opposed to anywhere else in the world.

Patience is a hard thing to learn or know or remember. I still have to convince myself that it’s OKAY that I don’t know the exact reason I’m here. Maybe there really is no exact reason. Maybe it is just a bunch of little things; including what I’m sharing. And here’s the hardest part: Maybe I’m not even here for me. Maybe I’m here because of someone else. Maybe someone I’ve met here needed me. What if God was using me to touch someone else’s life?

So maybe I’ll figure it out someday or maybe I never will. Either way, I can’t dwell on it. I need to just relax and let God do his work. He’ll show me what he wants to show me in his time. Just like everything else happens. Patience is a weird thing, but no matter how much I plan, or how much I know, nothing will happen the when I want it to. I just need to have patience and take a back seat. 

Today is Monday. Not just any Monday, but my last Monday in South Africa...for this summer anyway, who knows what God’s plans are for later? This has been one roller coaster of a summer. I’ve never been so down, so happy and alive, so scared, so carefree, so broken or so on fire in such a short amount of time as I have been this summer.

I was so excited to come to South Africa. I was excited to be on my own, to serve God with what I love to do, to see the world from a different perspective, to meet people; I was simply excited for an adventure.

I don’t even remember what I was hoping South Africa to be, but when I first got here, it was anything but. That’s when my lowness started. I didn’t know what I was doing here. I couldn’t figure it out at all and I really didn’t want to stay. But I did. Even though I didn’t necessarily want to be here, I knew I needed to be. I didn’t know why, but I knew God had something planned for me here.

As time went on, I’ve had ups and downs, but things did get better. I don’t know so much that circumstances changed, but my attitude did. I decided that if I was going to get the most out of being here, I had to surrender completely to God. I had to LET him teach me what he wanted. I had to LET him be here with me.

After I finally figured out I couldn’t do it on my own, God taught me countless things. If he didn’t TEACH me for the first time, he surely reminded me of them. Besides teaching me, God gave me four wonderful friends to share with, grow with, and live with for several weeks. I still don’t know why exactly I was placed here, but I don’t regret it at all.

Because today is the day I have five days left, I want to share with you five things I have been either taught or reminded of this summer. One for each of my days left. You’ll have to check back each day to see what’s next ;)

Today is trust. I know you’re thinking, “Come on Brittany. How did you not know what trust is?” Of course I knew what it is. I could very easily give you the dictionary definition: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. But did I know how to put it into practice when it came to God? Not as well as I should have. 

When I realized I needed to invite God to be with me here in South Africa, that meant I had to trust him like never before. I had to rely on him with full confidence. I had to rely on him at home, at work, at play, and everything in between. I needed to know that he is always with me; even in this unsafe, scary, dirty, beautiful (I didn’t realize it at the time) little part of the world. No matter where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing, he was with me. He’s even with me right now looking over my shoulder as I write this.

Anyway, that’s lesson number one folks. Check back tomorrow for number two! :) 

You know one of the things that really bug me about South Africa? Seat belts are treated as no big deal. Kids are always bouncing around in the back seat or climbing all over. Like this morning. We saw a guy driving down the road and his son, maybe about three or four years old, was standing up in the back and leaning his head up over the driver’s seat. I know that sometimes it’s an issue in America too, but not like it is here. In fact here, I think it’s actually uncommon to see a child buckled up in the back seat. Let alone in a car seat. I'm not too sure what the rate of deaths from car crashes is here, but I'm sure it would probably be lower if people would just buckle their children up. It's one thing for an adult to not wear their seat belt, but at least they should know better. Endangering the life of a child who doesn't know the difference is plain wrong. To all my friends in South Africa: Please make sure your kids buckle up!

Anyway, now that my little rant is done, back to work!

I think my favorite thing about my summer adventures so far is when we went to Swaziland. The Kingdom of Swaziland is a small country, landlocked by Mozambique and South Africa. We went there to meet with some listeners of TWR programs and we visited the radio transmitter site. We traveled most of the day on July 4^th. When we got to the missionary house where we were staying, we had a braai. A braai is like a cookout and a bonfire combined. It was like we were celebrating, just minus the fireworks! There were even red, white and blue balloons and a patriotic teddy bear on the table in the house where we stayed. It was nice.

We only got to talk to a couple of listeners, but the listeners we did talk to, shared some really good stories and were so full of life. I got to hand out two radios, and the ladies were so grateful! The older lady just danced when she turned it on, and the younger lady said, “Oh! We will never forget you!” It was something I will never forget. I wish we could go back before I leave, but there’s just not enough time.

Last Friday we headed to KwaZulu Natal. It’s a southern region in South Africa. We did the same thing we did in Swaziland; we went and visited with some listeners. I thought it was really interesting to see how people outside of the cities live. They literally have almost nothing and live in brick huts or garage door houses, but they are some of the happiest people you would ever meet.

On Saturday, we went to the Indian Ocean. There is a marine world right on the beach. We got to go in the shark tank in a cage and see all the sharks swim right on by…not quite the real thing, but definitely a good starter! We also got to walk out on the beach. I got some really cool pictures..they’ll be up soon!

Now we’re back in the office. I just finished one of my major projects for the summer, so that feels nice. And a couple of the other ones are well on their way! Speaking of work, I should get back to it! I’ll try and update again soon!